ok... im really scared. like my family is actually really suffering money wise. Like it might not seem that bad by me saying this... but the amount that i can spend on my grad dress is like 25-35 dollars. when other girls in my class are spending like 200 on theres. But anyway. i found a dress.. thats like on sale from 44.50 to 25.. so.. yeah.. i just like dont want people thinking im like cheep or something.
ok... well i found 5 dresses.... but one of them will be for a wedding i am going to in the summer.. and the total for the 5 dresses is 124..that makes them all sound really cheep. but there all marked down from 44... if that helps...
Well its really 4 dresses and a sweater. i know if i can only get two... which two i will get. so... yeah. and that will be like 50-60 dollars. but yeah BUT I WANT THAT SWEATER!
ok... well i just eliminated some of the merchandise.. so now its four items for 79.99... which means.... FREE SHIPPING!...
my family will be so proud.. i know how to bargan shop...
i really hope the people who actually read this dont think anything different of me. like its not my fault my family cant afford it. like i feel bad. i wasted all my money shopping on clothes for people to think i have good style. but it doesnt mean anything. Like now i am that much poorer for worrying about what people thought of me.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
crap.
ok.well Kara convinsed me to write more. so here it goes.
well.. i got my new phone today... it is gorg.
i kind of like someone. but its not major.
so it doesnt really matter. because first off. this person. does not in anyway.... like me at all. like we are 'friends' but trust me. that will never ever change. like everyoen has liked this person, so that kind of give it away. and everyone says he is super dooper hot. i personally do not think he is that great.
this is shit. i feel like shit.
i am sad now.
i feel like i did last year.
this is a crap feeling to have.
i have to go do something. i dont want to go to school tomorrow.
Rosedale. yay. i dont even want to go to high school. i dont want to graduate. and just stay home.
nothing will change, i will still be the "fat" one. ill be the one guys just want to be friends with, no one will ever think of me differently.
i just hate it, it feels stupid. its so much easier to be a guy and be liked then to be girl to be liked. the only who has ever liked me is Kuba.. not the greatest guy to have like you.
im just really mad.
its so annoying.
and garrr. so many people like people. but they cant tell anyone, either that person is already in a realationship. or they are like they are the nicest person ever.
well.. i got my new phone today... it is gorg.
i kind of like someone. but its not major.
so it doesnt really matter. because first off. this person. does not in anyway.... like me at all. like we are 'friends' but trust me. that will never ever change. like everyoen has liked this person, so that kind of give it away. and everyone says he is super dooper hot. i personally do not think he is that great.
this is shit. i feel like shit.
i am sad now.
i feel like i did last year.
this is a crap feeling to have.
i have to go do something. i dont want to go to school tomorrow.
Rosedale. yay. i dont even want to go to high school. i dont want to graduate. and just stay home.
nothing will change, i will still be the "fat" one. ill be the one guys just want to be friends with, no one will ever think of me differently.
i just hate it, it feels stupid. its so much easier to be a guy and be liked then to be girl to be liked. the only who has ever liked me is Kuba.. not the greatest guy to have like you.
im just really mad.
its so annoying.
and garrr. so many people like people. but they cant tell anyone, either that person is already in a realationship. or they are like they are the nicest person ever.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
the last one.
i hate it when people remind me of who i really am.
i hate this, like.
roar.
i dont want to write it because people will think im stupid.
so i dont know.
i think i should just stop the hole "blogging" in general.
no one wants to hear what i have to say.
i hate this, like.
roar.
i dont want to write it because people will think im stupid.
so i dont know.
i think i should just stop the hole "blogging" in general.
no one wants to hear what i have to say.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
the crap hole.
there is a moldy pizza pocket sitting next to me.
i just thought everyone should know what is on my desk at the moment...:
a book, a bowl,a moldy pizza pocket, a plate, a juice box,a camera, another camera, a razor, a bar of soap, a hair elastic, 13 more hair elastics, 4 braclets,a plastic microphone, paper, powder, a box, a toblarone box,a tin cup, arm warmers cards, playing cards, pastels, usb cables, wrappers, speakers, my computer,a box for my psp, more paper, pictures,pens,markers,pencils... if you dont believe me... ask Kara, she even told me my room was a crap hole. luv ya bab :0
i just thought everyone should know what is on my desk at the moment...:
a book, a bowl,a moldy pizza pocket, a plate, a juice box,a camera, another camera, a razor, a bar of soap, a hair elastic, 13 more hair elastics, 4 braclets,a plastic microphone, paper, powder, a box, a toblarone box,a tin cup, arm warmers cards, playing cards, pastels, usb cables, wrappers, speakers, my computer,a box for my psp, more paper, pictures,pens,markers,pencils... if you dont believe me... ask Kara, she even told me my room was a crap hole. luv ya bab :0
Cellular :)
Michael jinxed me..
so.. i dont know if we have english tomorrow and i still havent done my plot line... shiz.
my dad is a stupid boy. very stupid indeed.
but thats okay :)
i still love him. i think.
ok.. well i do like a person, but there 17... so thats kinda weird.
there my dads best friends kid..
they are like smokin'!
and we hung out today, it was good, we saw a movieee. i was so frikin scared.
and when i was, he was like haha and he put his arm around me :) loveeeeeee.
i had the scariest nightmare last night. like im dead. it was terrifiying it wasnt one of those Jplat dreams. it was a actual scary dream, that people other than me would find scary.
so. now my phone isnt comming till friday. its so stupid. my dad didnt order it. so we have to order it tomorrow. if he doesnt. hes going to hear something out of me. i know its a privalige to have a phone. but like, roar. i want mine!
i know what phone i want!
sorry. i was just looking at the phone my brother is getting. and since i havent ordered mine yet. i am going to get the one he is going to get. its called the Samsung M320 silver... i dont like the silver, but its the only color they have, so i have to get it. but its okay,because its a cool phone.
this is the last time i am changing my mind!
and if it turns out to be a phone i dont want, then i will have a phone i dont like. but really its all about calling people. and if it calls them, then thats fine!
i made the list of all my contacts already. there are 365.. ha im so cool ;P
you guys wanna see a double chin smiley? ok.: :)) haha... to clever. to clever.
yes Mirch i liked Henry, your the only one who did not know that, because even he knew.
so.. i dont know if we have english tomorrow and i still havent done my plot line... shiz.
my dad is a stupid boy. very stupid indeed.
but thats okay :)
i still love him. i think.
ok.. well i do like a person, but there 17... so thats kinda weird.
there my dads best friends kid..
they are like smokin'!
and we hung out today, it was good, we saw a movieee. i was so frikin scared.
and when i was, he was like haha and he put his arm around me :) loveeeeeee.
i had the scariest nightmare last night. like im dead. it was terrifiying it wasnt one of those Jplat dreams. it was a actual scary dream, that people other than me would find scary.
so. now my phone isnt comming till friday. its so stupid. my dad didnt order it. so we have to order it tomorrow. if he doesnt. hes going to hear something out of me. i know its a privalige to have a phone. but like, roar. i want mine!
i know what phone i want!
sorry. i was just looking at the phone my brother is getting. and since i havent ordered mine yet. i am going to get the one he is going to get. its called the Samsung M320 silver... i dont like the silver, but its the only color they have, so i have to get it. but its okay,because its a cool phone.
this is the last time i am changing my mind!
and if it turns out to be a phone i dont want, then i will have a phone i dont like. but really its all about calling people. and if it calls them, then thats fine!
i made the list of all my contacts already. there are 365.. ha im so cool ;P
you guys wanna see a double chin smiley? ok.: :)) haha... to clever. to clever.
yes Mirch i liked Henry, your the only one who did not know that, because even he knew.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
oh ma god
do we have any geo homework?
and like er i havent memorized my speech, like at all. and i have to do my math, and my english thingy
roar.
why does this break have to end?
but thats ok, because next year ima go to rosedale :)
and illl be like bam.
I really wish that my thirteenth year would be over already!i dont mean like i want to die, i just mean like, i wish i could turnm 14 already, because like er :( im all stressed out and i hate this year. and right now i am biting a marker... cause you all really needed to know that,
so...
i think its really amazing because of that guy who signed on to his blog and then he saw this one that was like this kid who threatened to burn down his school, and when he called the police they went out to find him 9and this school was in england or some fancy place like that, then when they found the 16 year old kid he had a knife and a loaded thing of gasoline and matches. that kid did all of this because of bullies. like i dont know what these kids did to him to make him do this, but like deal with it, burning down your hole school because of three kids is not the way to go, like i frikin goto bullied and like i said i dont know what these kids did to him, but i transfered schools. and i am "happy" now. and i dont (sometimes i do) have to deal with bitchy kids. and i still see those kids, except the kids that still try and fuck with me, i dont even know, they werent even in my class. and then like i was walking home from anya's house cause the bus driver was being a douche and then they were like you got beaten up by a grade 2. and like first of all. you didnt touch me. second of all. i kicked all your asses. and stephanie pussied out on my btw. and then like yeah so this kid sure he was emotionaly bruised but he still sould have dealt with it better.
and i am so happy that the people who killed Stephanie something from rosedale finally got sentanced. like my goodness who would be that jelous to kill somebody?
i am a jelous person, im not going to lie, but i can control that jelousy, and for this girl to kill KILL somebody because of they think that there boyfriend still liked there ex. thats just messed up. and like. thats honestly the one thing that scares me about going there next year, like obviously i know those kids wont be there, but like if i am in a relationship then its over, then the next girl with that guy wanys me dead? like no. im not scared about the drugs or anything, because everyone does it atleast once in there life. and you cant say you wont do it, because you never know if your going to change your mind. like there is this girl Aurora, and she was like the sweetest goody goody ever in 1-6 and i dont know what she was like in 7-8 but she said she would never ever EVER do drugs... she is now the biggest pot head at rosedale.
this is probably the longest post i have ever written. haha.
Like look at Mitch's he has like 5 line posts, i idolise you Mitch Duncan. i always thought you were Hannah Duncan's brother. but your not. so i love you mitch :)
and like er i havent memorized my speech, like at all. and i have to do my math, and my english thingy
roar.
why does this break have to end?
but thats ok, because next year ima go to rosedale :)
and illl be like bam.
I really wish that my thirteenth year would be over already!i dont mean like i want to die, i just mean like, i wish i could turnm 14 already, because like er :( im all stressed out and i hate this year. and right now i am biting a marker... cause you all really needed to know that,
so...
i think its really amazing because of that guy who signed on to his blog and then he saw this one that was like this kid who threatened to burn down his school, and when he called the police they went out to find him 9and this school was in england or some fancy place like that, then when they found the 16 year old kid he had a knife and a loaded thing of gasoline and matches. that kid did all of this because of bullies. like i dont know what these kids did to him to make him do this, but like deal with it, burning down your hole school because of three kids is not the way to go, like i frikin goto bullied and like i said i dont know what these kids did to him, but i transfered schools. and i am "happy" now. and i dont (sometimes i do) have to deal with bitchy kids. and i still see those kids, except the kids that still try and fuck with me, i dont even know, they werent even in my class. and then like i was walking home from anya's house cause the bus driver was being a douche and then they were like you got beaten up by a grade 2. and like first of all. you didnt touch me. second of all. i kicked all your asses. and stephanie pussied out on my btw. and then like yeah so this kid sure he was emotionaly bruised but he still sould have dealt with it better.
and i am so happy that the people who killed Stephanie something from rosedale finally got sentanced. like my goodness who would be that jelous to kill somebody?
i am a jelous person, im not going to lie, but i can control that jelousy, and for this girl to kill KILL somebody because of they think that there boyfriend still liked there ex. thats just messed up. and like. thats honestly the one thing that scares me about going there next year, like obviously i know those kids wont be there, but like if i am in a relationship then its over, then the next girl with that guy wanys me dead? like no. im not scared about the drugs or anything, because everyone does it atleast once in there life. and you cant say you wont do it, because you never know if your going to change your mind. like there is this girl Aurora, and she was like the sweetest goody goody ever in 1-6 and i dont know what she was like in 7-8 but she said she would never ever EVER do drugs... she is now the biggest pot head at rosedale.
this is probably the longest post i have ever written. haha.
Like look at Mitch's he has like 5 line posts, i idolise you Mitch Duncan. i always thought you were Hannah Duncan's brother. but your not. so i love you mitch :)
new phone in 5 days !
"i never gave up fighting i never said my good byes so why? why did we let go?" - mia rose
so yeah. i dont like that person. it was just one of those scares.. trust me this was a scare :S
so i guess im friend with Elsa now. we havent been in a while, but like today we actually talked. like not me pussying out, like i honestly said what was on my mind. and i know who KD likes :)
haha i feel so in with the Bowmore drama. even though it doesnt matter. but there is like no drama at E.A.S.T... and it sucks i love dramaaaaaaa / gossip, right now laura McFatass is telling me about her brothers girlfriend.
wopie.
im boreed
i cant wait to have a cell again... its tortue not having one!but thats only because i had one before, and im just not used to not having it.
like if i never had one, i would be fine without it, but its because im used to being able to call from where ever.
well in toronto.
and on weekends and weeknights past 6pm.
i only have 200 hundred minutes... and if you know me i talk on the phone a lot. and i usually use all those minutes up when i am walking home, i use them to call fat ass.
so yeah. i dont like that person. it was just one of those scares.. trust me this was a scare :S
so i guess im friend with Elsa now. we havent been in a while, but like today we actually talked. like not me pussying out, like i honestly said what was on my mind. and i know who KD likes :)
haha i feel so in with the Bowmore drama. even though it doesnt matter. but there is like no drama at E.A.S.T... and it sucks i love dramaaaaaaa / gossip, right now laura McFatass is telling me about her brothers girlfriend.
wopie.
im boreed
i cant wait to have a cell again... its tortue not having one!but thats only because i had one before, and im just not used to not having it.
like if i never had one, i would be fine without it, but its because im used to being able to call from where ever.
well in toronto.
and on weekends and weeknights past 6pm.
i only have 200 hundred minutes... and if you know me i talk on the phone a lot. and i usually use all those minutes up when i am walking home, i use them to call fat ass.
Friday, March 20, 2009
crap :S
im happy i moved on, im happy i moved on, things were going so slow but then i got it in me to move on -
ok. so i dont like anybody!
i think... im so confuzzled.
like i know i dont like HIM agian, and im glad for that,
and im over henry, so for all the people who actually take there time to read this and didnt know i like him, yes i liked henry.
but i might like someone else. but i dont know, like if you saw me the other day, i was like BITCHIN! I DONT LIKE ANYONE! YAYAYYAAA
but now its liek fack?
but its all good
im getting my new phone on wed or thurs. its pretty chills its the audiovox 8930.
its ugly, but its like kick assssssssssssssssssss
ok. so i dont like anybody!
i think... im so confuzzled.
like i know i dont like HIM agian, and im glad for that,
and im over henry, so for all the people who actually take there time to read this and didnt know i like him, yes i liked henry.
but i might like someone else. but i dont know, like if you saw me the other day, i was like BITCHIN! I DONT LIKE ANYONE! YAYAYYAAA
but now its liek fack?
but its all good
im getting my new phone on wed or thurs. its pretty chills its the audiovox 8930.
its ugly, but its like kick assssssssssssssssssss
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
st.patties day :):)
Right now i am waiting for my dad to finish talking to the stupid bell people. because we ordered a new phone for my brother and i, and then they were like "hey we are stupid bitches. we should be fucks and not give them the right order." and then i was like oh bitch you did not send me the wrong phone, i wasn't aloud to get the phone i wanted (the double flip) so i am getting the same as Lindsay, only i am going to make mine all like hot :) i am going to put on those shit rinestones just to be cool... im such a dick, i am truly sorry for that profound language, oh god, i sound like a stupid JP. he is always like profound, but thats cool, because im not nearly as big a loser as him, and all his little loser friends, like MacNeal Darnley, (its the only friend i know of.. all his other friends he suposedly beats up, but i doubt it, he's scrony...) so yeah its st.Patricks day :) i enjoy this, because i saw the sound of music, but im not going to lie... it was bad... like well it wasnt bad, it just wasnt good. but yeah, so while we were leaving, i saw this guy who was like wearing a green suit, but he was in the window of a building (a buisness building) and he was like in the middle of a meeting or something. Its also my grandparents annaversay :)
thats cute, well i think, speaking of cute, yesterday i was baby sitting my sister 9it might have been today, i really cant remember) and then we were watching Zoey 101, and when they were kissing i was like yucky ;P and she was like no its beautiful and cute :)
and i was like AWE, thats so sweet, shes a cute kid.
I think my dad is off the phone.
So... yeah sound of music was not nearly as good as Jersey Boys :)
that was my love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, and i am love... yeah sorry i forgot my train of thought.
in the song love story i thought it said christmas not this mess. so i learned something today.
thats cute, well i think, speaking of cute, yesterday i was baby sitting my sister 9it might have been today, i really cant remember) and then we were watching Zoey 101, and when they were kissing i was like yucky ;P and she was like no its beautiful and cute :)
and i was like AWE, thats so sweet, shes a cute kid.
I think my dad is off the phone.
So... yeah sound of music was not nearly as good as Jersey Boys :)
that was my love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE, and i am love... yeah sorry i forgot my train of thought.
in the song love story i thought it said christmas not this mess. so i learned something today.
Monday, March 16, 2009
yeah.
ok... well i havent really doen this in a whille.
its march break, and its like fab ?
Well lindsay and i hung out with molly and had a sleepover..
i bought like ten movies.. in two days... i bought the complete 2nd and 3rd season of THAT 70'S SHOW!
love it... and i bought little miss sunshine. and the note book. good luck chuck..( i didnt know what it was about, so i bought it...) the girl next door the rocker nick and norahs infinite playlist something about marry shallow hal. and yeah
IM SO BORED..
i want to do something..
im so nerves about the RDHSA "audition plaisments"
i cant do anything infront of people.
its march break, and its like fab ?
Well lindsay and i hung out with molly and had a sleepover..
i bought like ten movies.. in two days... i bought the complete 2nd and 3rd season of THAT 70'S SHOW!
love it... and i bought little miss sunshine. and the note book. good luck chuck..( i didnt know what it was about, so i bought it...) the girl next door the rocker nick and norahs infinite playlist something about marry shallow hal. and yeah
IM SO BORED..
i want to do something..
im so nerves about the RDHSA "audition plaisments"
i cant do anything infront of people.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Ros
HHA
Q!
lmao Rs was like you know why x is a hug because it looks lke the arms extendning..
but then o is like kisses because of the o shape your mouth mkes
then q.. Q looks like something going into something.....QQQ
Q!
lmao Rs was like you know why x is a hug because it looks lke the arms extendning..
but then o is like kisses because of the o shape your mouth mkes
then q.. Q looks like something going into something.....QQQ
Sunday, March 8, 2009
miss you love
RAHH....
I MISS MY BEST FRIEND...
she hasnt been herself latley.
I MISS HER SO MUCH
we used to have all these jokes, but know we barley talk...
i miss her
she is my babr and i wish we still hung out... after school everyday we would hang out for like an hour or 2 but know we never do... i miss her, she is so great. i wish she could tell me... i wish i could help. i read her blog. and from the way she is writing it sounds like she is a bit... better, but then again that is just the way she is writting.
I MISS MY BEST FRIEND...
she hasnt been herself latley.
I MISS HER SO MUCH
we used to have all these jokes, but know we barley talk...
i miss her
she is my babr and i wish we still hung out... after school everyday we would hang out for like an hour or 2 but know we never do... i miss her, she is so great. i wish she could tell me... i wish i could help. i read her blog. and from the way she is writing it sounds like she is a bit... better, but then again that is just the way she is writting.
Friday, March 6, 2009
bleh
Mitch..
i just read your blog.
I LOVE YOU.
thats all i can say about you.
Well today i babysat.
and i was freaking out the hole time
i watched this frigged up show about a lady in an insane isylum, and then she turns out to be a gosht and she was singing frera something i cannot spell!
But yeah, you would even be able to imagine how scared i was. i was in a big house. all alone, with a four year old. watching a scary ass video. and then. i go to check my e-mail. i have the scariest chain mail ever. and i was crying after that i was so scared.... and aside from all that, my dreams wont fucking stop.
These stupid dreams about a stupid person, its jsut so STUID.
welll im tired
i just read your blog.
I LOVE YOU.
thats all i can say about you.
Well today i babysat.
and i was freaking out the hole time
i watched this frigged up show about a lady in an insane isylum, and then she turns out to be a gosht and she was singing frera something i cannot spell!
But yeah, you would even be able to imagine how scared i was. i was in a big house. all alone, with a four year old. watching a scary ass video. and then. i go to check my e-mail. i have the scariest chain mail ever. and i was crying after that i was so scared.... and aside from all that, my dreams wont fucking stop.
These stupid dreams about a stupid person, its jsut so STUID.
welll im tired
Thursday, March 5, 2009
CRAP. that was scary.
Be My Escape"
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
ILOVE THAT SONG!
its fab...
ok well if anyone is still reading this...you really have no life, if you like to read about people bitching about guys..
i was so crazy today after school i like run out screaming what is this.. but everyone who reads this was there... so yeah.....
im so bored.
and i am like gar.
hate it.. hate. it.
i really hope my dreams dont continue, i had another one last night, and i dont want to have my sleep dirupted even more!
OH SHIT THAT WAS SCARYY!
SO I JUST INSTALLED THE NEW MSN. AND THEN IT SAID MAKE GROUPS, SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NORMAL MSN GROUPS, WHERE YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE THEM ACCEPT YOUR INVITATION, SO I MADE ONE CALLED I LOVE HIM... AND OFCORSE JUSTIN WAS THE ONLY ONE I HAD IN THERE.... AND ITS JUST LIKE SHIT! AND THEN IT TOOK ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO FIND OUT HOW TO DELETE THAT GROUP. HOYL FUCK ... THAT WAS NOT GOOD. NOT NOTNTONOTNNOTYOOOTOTOTTO GOOD!
but yeah, i found out how to delete it, but if he came on when i was tryingto... that would have been awkward.
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
ILOVE THAT SONG!
its fab...
ok well if anyone is still reading this...you really have no life, if you like to read about people bitching about guys..
i was so crazy today after school i like run out screaming what is this.. but everyone who reads this was there... so yeah.....
im so bored.
and i am like gar.
hate it.. hate. it.
i really hope my dreams dont continue, i had another one last night, and i dont want to have my sleep dirupted even more!
OH SHIT THAT WAS SCARYY!
SO I JUST INSTALLED THE NEW MSN. AND THEN IT SAID MAKE GROUPS, SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NORMAL MSN GROUPS, WHERE YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE THEM ACCEPT YOUR INVITATION, SO I MADE ONE CALLED I LOVE HIM... AND OFCORSE JUSTIN WAS THE ONLY ONE I HAD IN THERE.... AND ITS JUST LIKE SHIT! AND THEN IT TOOK ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO FIND OUT HOW TO DELETE THAT GROUP. HOYL FUCK ... THAT WAS NOT GOOD. NOT NOTNTONOTNNOTYOOOTOTOTTO GOOD!
but yeah, i found out how to delete it, but if he came on when i was tryingto... that would have been awkward.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Bad Dreams.
Ok..
so today I was sad-ish...
i was crying at break, and what i thought would happen... was exactly what happened.
But the reason i was crying was because of a dream i had last night. It was kind of just like everything over the past two years combined. well just the things i remember.. Like, my mom was alive in it. and then Justin... he was dating Elsa... after that part i woke up crying.. And then when i finally fell asleep again it was like time for me to get up. well an hour before i had to get up. and then it was like a continuation of the dream. And it was all the fights between my brother and my dad... and all the fights between my dad and my mom, and all the fights between my brother and my mom...And then i woke up again crying after half an hour.
And C... is going to Rosedale. and like i know that this is going to happen... She is going to see Justin, Justin will see her, they fall madly in love and she will say to me "hey Allie, remember that pinkie promise about i wont date Justin? Is it ok if i date him?" and then i wouldnt be a bitch about it. i would say go the fuck ahead. But on the inside id be dieing. i know i would, even if i had a boyfriend (ha me with a boyfriend.) and lets say i was completley happy. her saying that, would still kill me.
like it would KILL me.
But like i said,
I would not be a bitch about it. i wouldnt want him to be sad because i would not let him date the girl he likes...
but yeah
its just going to happen... but im going to like try TRY, the best i can to make sure nothing of that sort will happen.
im such a bum.
I really hope i will have a better dream than last night, i really need sleep...
because, a mix of those three things is just too much at one time
so today I was sad-ish...
i was crying at break, and what i thought would happen... was exactly what happened.
But the reason i was crying was because of a dream i had last night. It was kind of just like everything over the past two years combined. well just the things i remember.. Like, my mom was alive in it. and then Justin... he was dating Elsa... after that part i woke up crying.. And then when i finally fell asleep again it was like time for me to get up. well an hour before i had to get up. and then it was like a continuation of the dream. And it was all the fights between my brother and my dad... and all the fights between my dad and my mom, and all the fights between my brother and my mom...And then i woke up again crying after half an hour.
And C... is going to Rosedale. and like i know that this is going to happen... She is going to see Justin, Justin will see her, they fall madly in love and she will say to me "hey Allie, remember that pinkie promise about i wont date Justin? Is it ok if i date him?" and then i wouldnt be a bitch about it. i would say go the fuck ahead. But on the inside id be dieing. i know i would, even if i had a boyfriend (ha me with a boyfriend.) and lets say i was completley happy. her saying that, would still kill me.
like it would KILL me.
But like i said,
I would not be a bitch about it. i wouldnt want him to be sad because i would not let him date the girl he likes...
but yeah
its just going to happen... but im going to like try TRY, the best i can to make sure nothing of that sort will happen.
im such a bum.
I really hope i will have a better dream than last night, i really need sleep...
because, a mix of those three things is just too much at one time
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Cause we live.. our different lives... when we are worlds apart.
AM I LIKE THE ONLY ONE EXCITED FOR HIGH SCHOOL?!
its going to be so much fun!
We will be out of our shitty little school, with actually people. Instead of being isolated with these little freaks.. my friends are freaks, everyone knows that!
The only thing i am actually going to miss about this school will be Maria (she is the best teacher i have EVER had) and Mitch... Mitch is special.. I will miss him, but yeeahh, i will also miss Anya.
They are pretty chill people. I feel like a douche. Because my friend Laura was like i dont want to go to Rosedale, and at the time i thought i would be going to Jarvis, so i told her to apply there, because like it is a good school. its just not the school i would want to go to. But so she finaly agreed to go to Jarvis... and then when i told her i was going to Rosedale, she first screamed for like ten minutes... and she was sitting on my lap so i really cant hear out of my right ear anymore..
But then she was like... so your not going to Jarvis... and she was like sad. and she is my best friend, and liek although we went to different middle schools and we are in different grades... i dont want to leave her.. She is my one friend who has been there through it all... She's been there longer than Elsa... Longer than Autymn and definetly longer than Adrian.
She was the one person i would talk to when my mom died. She was the one person who actually knew my mom out of my friends, her mom and my mom were like best friends, and then having her as my best friend, its just like good i guess? I dont know. But I have grown up with her, and she is the only person i feel comftorble enough to do anything with. Like usually, when i go to people's houses im all shy and stuff.. But when i get to her house, im like BAM. and its probably becuase of the fact that yeah, i did grow uo with ehr and her mom. Her dad used to scare me.. but i have grown to love Roberto. (Robert) im the only one who is aloud to call him that!
Actually no. im pretty sure his family calls him that. But im the only one of lauras friends who is aloud to call him that. Just like im the only one aloud to call KD, KD or Macaroni. And i am the only one aloud to call Benja fart ass. (long story)
And yeah.
I have names for everyone!
Like laura is lou lou mcMuffin.. because on the out side she is fucking skinny as crap. and on the inside she has the heart of a fatty.
And KD (kraft dinner/ kevin dickie) and Macaroni (KD)
and Fart Ass... haha Benja
i love benja! when he called justin he was like sorry, i have to go masterbate now... byyee.
I LOVE HIM!
Yes well it is late...
so i supose is should be off to bed.
But yeah also for Sarah, i call her Quetieee.
and then for autymn i call her Auto Bot.
And for Elsa... its Bitch. she is a bitch, she honestly does not the rage i have built up inside of me for her.
And for Charlotte... i call her charlotte. like latte. the beverage.
I really honestly do not DO NOT want her to go to RDHSA with me... i love her and everything, but she is a competitive actress. and thats what none of the people from there that i know are like.
But then again, thats like ... well thats a lot of the people there lol
But yeah, and then for Lindsmore i call her Lindsmore
and for Anya... scottie frikin hottie. (again... long story)
its going to be so much fun!
We will be out of our shitty little school, with actually people. Instead of being isolated with these little freaks.. my friends are freaks, everyone knows that!
The only thing i am actually going to miss about this school will be Maria (she is the best teacher i have EVER had) and Mitch... Mitch is special.. I will miss him, but yeeahh, i will also miss Anya.
They are pretty chill people. I feel like a douche. Because my friend Laura was like i dont want to go to Rosedale, and at the time i thought i would be going to Jarvis, so i told her to apply there, because like it is a good school. its just not the school i would want to go to. But so she finaly agreed to go to Jarvis... and then when i told her i was going to Rosedale, she first screamed for like ten minutes... and she was sitting on my lap so i really cant hear out of my right ear anymore..
But then she was like... so your not going to Jarvis... and she was like sad. and she is my best friend, and liek although we went to different middle schools and we are in different grades... i dont want to leave her.. She is my one friend who has been there through it all... She's been there longer than Elsa... Longer than Autymn and definetly longer than Adrian.
She was the one person i would talk to when my mom died. She was the one person who actually knew my mom out of my friends, her mom and my mom were like best friends, and then having her as my best friend, its just like good i guess? I dont know. But I have grown up with her, and she is the only person i feel comftorble enough to do anything with. Like usually, when i go to people's houses im all shy and stuff.. But when i get to her house, im like BAM. and its probably becuase of the fact that yeah, i did grow uo with ehr and her mom. Her dad used to scare me.. but i have grown to love Roberto. (Robert) im the only one who is aloud to call him that!
Actually no. im pretty sure his family calls him that. But im the only one of lauras friends who is aloud to call him that. Just like im the only one aloud to call KD, KD or Macaroni. And i am the only one aloud to call Benja fart ass. (long story)
And yeah.
I have names for everyone!
Like laura is lou lou mcMuffin.. because on the out side she is fucking skinny as crap. and on the inside she has the heart of a fatty.
And KD (kraft dinner/ kevin dickie) and Macaroni (KD)
and Fart Ass... haha Benja
i love benja! when he called justin he was like sorry, i have to go masterbate now... byyee.
I LOVE HIM!
Yes well it is late...
so i supose is should be off to bed.
But yeah also for Sarah, i call her Quetieee.
and then for autymn i call her Auto Bot.
And for Elsa... its Bitch. she is a bitch, she honestly does not the rage i have built up inside of me for her.
And for Charlotte... i call her charlotte. like latte. the beverage.
I really honestly do not DO NOT want her to go to RDHSA with me... i love her and everything, but she is a competitive actress. and thats what none of the people from there that i know are like.
But then again, thats like ... well thats a lot of the people there lol
But yeah, and then for Lindsmore i call her Lindsmore
and for Anya... scottie frikin hottie. (again... long story)
I was losing myself to somebody else.
I am so tired!
I am so mad/tired.
I hate my body.
Im like fucking fat as an obese elephant.
Like..EERR. its so annoying.
and like my Friend who i love so much, is still sad, and i hate seeing her like this, she is so great, and she shouldn't be like this.
I miss my life. The life i had when my mom was here.
Just like i know she misses her life.
Everything is just so fucked up at the moment.
My life is stupid. I actually hate it. I don't let it show at school, because if i do everyone is just like oh whats wrong, and i hate it when that happens.
And i hate having to fake a smile, its so annoying, i hate showing emotions that i don't really feel.
Gahh. today doing the hero/heroine
Publish Post i forgot my line, and it is like the simplest line in the world "December 1st 1955. It was not pre-arranged and it was not till after i paid my fare that i had realized it was the same bus driver that had pulled me off the bus in 1943, twelve years earlier."
and then the guy was like how old are you, and i thought he meant the character (well Rosa Parks) and i was like 42. and he was like no... you. and i was like, oh you mean me allie? and he was like yeah
gahh. embarrassing.
I am so mad/tired.
I hate my body.
Im like fucking fat as an obese elephant.
Like..EERR. its so annoying.
and like my Friend who i love so much, is still sad, and i hate seeing her like this, she is so great, and she shouldn't be like this.
I miss my life. The life i had when my mom was here.
Just like i know she misses her life.
Everything is just so fucked up at the moment.
My life is stupid. I actually hate it. I don't let it show at school, because if i do everyone is just like oh whats wrong, and i hate it when that happens.
And i hate having to fake a smile, its so annoying, i hate showing emotions that i don't really feel.
Gahh. today doing the hero/heroine
Publish Post i forgot my line, and it is like the simplest line in the world "December 1st 1955. It was not pre-arranged and it was not till after i paid my fare that i had realized it was the same bus driver that had pulled me off the bus in 1943, twelve years earlier."
and then the guy was like how old are you, and i thought he meant the character (well Rosa Parks) and i was like 42. and he was like no... you. and i was like, oh you mean me allie? and he was like yeah
gahh. embarrassing.
Monday, March 2, 2009
My life would suck without you.
"You got a peice of me, and i gotta say, my life would suck without you." kelly clarkson.
Ok,
so there is this girl named Erin,
and she likes JP and she keeps freaking talking to me about him. like seriously if all you want to talk to me about is him, just go away, or dont bother talking to me. Like she's a nice girl, but i dont want to hear abotu the guy im trying to get over.
And then I said I am so excited for High School, and she said,
Why so yu can see justin platnar?
and seriously.
Dont even fuck with me right now.
I am so mad :(v grr.
But my plan on the first day...
Stuff a bran muffin in his face :P
he doesnt like bran :)
but who doesnt like muffins?
NO ONE!
i love chocolate muffins.
im fat, everyone already knows that!
But yeah, a world without chocolate, is a world without happieness.
like ask Ros,
but the stupid thing is Ros cant get fat, its actually like impossible for her to. Cause i have seen her eat, and she does not gain a pound. Its not fair :(
Well i did like 4 math forums today :)
thats good?
i dont know,
then i was talking to Micheal, (i think you are the only one who reads my blog micheal!)
so then he was like im gonn get fat
and guys cant get fat,
its not fair, girls like starve there selves and then guys can eat like all they want, and they dont gain a pound, they have such fast matableisms.
i hate guys.
for many reasons.
but that is a reason too!
I am so tired. i havent gotten much sleep latley... stupid people, well... i keep thinking about them, and then i cant sleep. because im so confeused about my own feelings. and its so stupid, because i cant control them, you people dont even know how much i want to just like take a week or so off of school, and just sit at home, and think of all the reasons why i should or shouldnt like these people.
and seriously,
answer me this, im not saying I do. But other people do... What is wrong with a girl liking a guy younger than her? Seriously? Guys are aloud to date people younger than them, but then when an older girl goes out with a younger guy, suddenly its the end of the world.
Its stupid. age doesnt matter honestly people. Like if your a fucking gold digger, then ill poop on your chest for treating/ tricking someone like that, but like look at all these cases. I know a guy whos 45 he married a girl who is 28. thats a BIG difference, so if a girl likes a guy by like a year or two everyone is like EW thats so gross. I honestly dont see the point, or the difference.
But like i said, i defenatly do not like a person younger than me, i think everyone in the world knows who i like :P
Well... i dont really like him/love him. Its just a habbit of not letting people go. and thats suck suckish.
But yeah. i dont like him, i just cant let go of him. its weird, i did this amny other people in the past, except the case wasnt this bad.
Ok,
so there is this girl named Erin,
and she likes JP and she keeps freaking talking to me about him. like seriously if all you want to talk to me about is him, just go away, or dont bother talking to me. Like she's a nice girl, but i dont want to hear abotu the guy im trying to get over.
And then I said I am so excited for High School, and she said,
Why so yu can see justin platnar?
and seriously.
Dont even fuck with me right now.
I am so mad :(v grr.
But my plan on the first day...
Stuff a bran muffin in his face :P
he doesnt like bran :)
but who doesnt like muffins?
NO ONE!
i love chocolate muffins.
im fat, everyone already knows that!
But yeah, a world without chocolate, is a world without happieness.
like ask Ros,
but the stupid thing is Ros cant get fat, its actually like impossible for her to. Cause i have seen her eat, and she does not gain a pound. Its not fair :(
Well i did like 4 math forums today :)
thats good?
i dont know,
then i was talking to Micheal, (i think you are the only one who reads my blog micheal!)
so then he was like im gonn get fat
and guys cant get fat,
its not fair, girls like starve there selves and then guys can eat like all they want, and they dont gain a pound, they have such fast matableisms.
i hate guys.
for many reasons.
but that is a reason too!
I am so tired. i havent gotten much sleep latley... stupid people, well... i keep thinking about them, and then i cant sleep. because im so confeused about my own feelings. and its so stupid, because i cant control them, you people dont even know how much i want to just like take a week or so off of school, and just sit at home, and think of all the reasons why i should or shouldnt like these people.
and seriously,
answer me this, im not saying I do. But other people do... What is wrong with a girl liking a guy younger than her? Seriously? Guys are aloud to date people younger than them, but then when an older girl goes out with a younger guy, suddenly its the end of the world.
Its stupid. age doesnt matter honestly people. Like if your a fucking gold digger, then ill poop on your chest for treating/ tricking someone like that, but like look at all these cases. I know a guy whos 45 he married a girl who is 28. thats a BIG difference, so if a girl likes a guy by like a year or two everyone is like EW thats so gross. I honestly dont see the point, or the difference.
But like i said, i defenatly do not like a person younger than me, i think everyone in the world knows who i like :P
Well... i dont really like him/love him. Its just a habbit of not letting people go. and thats suck suckish.
But yeah. i dont like him, i just cant let go of him. its weird, i did this amny other people in the past, except the case wasnt this bad.
urgh.
Im so cold.
im sitting in my room in liek summer outfit.
i feel so fat right now.
I ate like three cookies, then i ate like a chocolate, then i ate chips.
FAT MUCH.
Then for diner i hada salad.
Its sad to say that im excited to go to High School with JP.
Like honestly im so excited.
I sound like a fucking stalker,
but im not. i just really like him. At least im not like Daryl. She stalks aidan chee all the time. and its just like creepppyy.
im sitting in my room in liek summer outfit.
i feel so fat right now.
I ate like three cookies, then i ate like a chocolate, then i ate chips.
FAT MUCH.
Then for diner i hada salad.
Its sad to say that im excited to go to High School with JP.
Like honestly im so excited.
I sound like a fucking stalker,
but im not. i just really like him. At least im not like Daryl. She stalks aidan chee all the time. and its just like creepppyy.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land upon the stars.
It feels like everyday is still becoming the same thing
Like i dont even want people reading this, it will waste there life.
me just bitching about,when people are dieing, and starving
and im lucky enough to have the dinner's i have.
Im used to putting on a happy face at school, and i am so tired of it,
last year was more like me.
I was so much sadder.
It's just like theres no point,
eventually we are all going to die, im not saying i want to die right now,
but im saying,
the clothes we buy, the way we act, it will all someday just be over,
so whats the point?
Buying expensive clothes to impress someone?
Thats like 100 dollars down the tube.
And then an education,
we get one, but then one day we die.
Simple favors can turn out to be the end of your life,
like look at the Holly Jones story.
her friend was scared of walking home alone, so she helps her walk home.
but then this crazy ass guy just kills her.
Imagine how it would feel if it was you she was doing the favor for,
she walks YOU home because YOU were scared.
Im not saying its the girls fault, im saying that whats the point if eventually we all die?
Some people say,
that if you live your life well,
then it doesnt matter when you die,
but what if you have a terrible life?
Are you expected to live forever?
NO.
Your not.
My mom had a decent life,
did she want to die? no, she didnt.
Well today, i didnt even bother leaving my room.
there is like no point.
I didnt pick up my guitar, i didnt turn on the music.
And then,
just noticing how dull life would be if we didnt have things like that,
today was so boring.
WOW, i have the biggest mood swings...
Like okay, i dont want to die, and i dont want it to happen anytime soon,
but the feelings inside me, feel like i already am.
I just hate people.
And once those people are out of my life, ill be fine.
But oh no.
Guess what,
im going to high school with them next year. I it when people act like they have the shittyiest life ever, when actually they have everything they want,
like this girl C she has everythign, she is pretty, she is smart, her parents are like always happy. But then oh wait a minute,
she likes to act, guess who else does... EVERYONE. but if someone else try's
then she acts like she is getting her glory taken away,
i have so much anger for this girl.
Its like in mean girls,
Lindsay Lohan doesnt like Ragina, but she just like has to?
you know what i mean? she cant help it, she just does,
but with me, its so annoying,
i tell everyone i hate her,
but then i hate being mean to people,
unless like i really dont care,
seriously i dont. Many people have seen me bitch out on people ALL THE TIME, but then i can be nice.
When i was dating mr.platnar,
i was taught a lesson,
"Shoot for the stars, because even if you miss you'll land upon the stars."
It was when i was confused about what was happening.
Like if we were going to just stay liking each other, or if we were ever going to actually "date"
and then, i did,
and i got what i wanted,
and then now looking back on it,
(not saying im going to stop liking him, because trust, i've tried, its pretty much impossibe.)
but if you just try,
or even think about it,
you will just be liek shwaa.
you know?
Like i dont even want people reading this, it will waste there life.
me just bitching about,when people are dieing, and starving
and im lucky enough to have the dinner's i have.
Im used to putting on a happy face at school, and i am so tired of it,
last year was more like me.
I was so much sadder.
It's just like theres no point,
eventually we are all going to die, im not saying i want to die right now,
but im saying,
the clothes we buy, the way we act, it will all someday just be over,
so whats the point?
Buying expensive clothes to impress someone?
Thats like 100 dollars down the tube.
And then an education,
we get one, but then one day we die.
Simple favors can turn out to be the end of your life,
like look at the Holly Jones story.
her friend was scared of walking home alone, so she helps her walk home.
but then this crazy ass guy just kills her.
Imagine how it would feel if it was you she was doing the favor for,
she walks YOU home because YOU were scared.
Im not saying its the girls fault, im saying that whats the point if eventually we all die?
Some people say,
that if you live your life well,
then it doesnt matter when you die,
but what if you have a terrible life?
Are you expected to live forever?
NO.
Your not.
My mom had a decent life,
did she want to die? no, she didnt.
Well today, i didnt even bother leaving my room.
there is like no point.
I didnt pick up my guitar, i didnt turn on the music.
And then,
just noticing how dull life would be if we didnt have things like that,
today was so boring.
WOW, i have the biggest mood swings...
Like okay, i dont want to die, and i dont want it to happen anytime soon,
but the feelings inside me, feel like i already am.
I just hate people.
And once those people are out of my life, ill be fine.
But oh no.
Guess what,
im going to high school with them next year. I it when people act like they have the shittyiest life ever, when actually they have everything they want,
like this girl C she has everythign, she is pretty, she is smart, her parents are like always happy. But then oh wait a minute,
she likes to act, guess who else does... EVERYONE. but if someone else try's
then she acts like she is getting her glory taken away,
i have so much anger for this girl.
Its like in mean girls,
Lindsay Lohan doesnt like Ragina, but she just like has to?
you know what i mean? she cant help it, she just does,
but with me, its so annoying,
i tell everyone i hate her,
but then i hate being mean to people,
unless like i really dont care,
seriously i dont. Many people have seen me bitch out on people ALL THE TIME, but then i can be nice.
When i was dating mr.platnar,
i was taught a lesson,
"Shoot for the stars, because even if you miss you'll land upon the stars."
It was when i was confused about what was happening.
Like if we were going to just stay liking each other, or if we were ever going to actually "date"
and then, i did,
and i got what i wanted,
and then now looking back on it,
(not saying im going to stop liking him, because trust, i've tried, its pretty much impossibe.)
but if you just try,
or even think about it,
you will just be liek shwaa.
you know?
Why
"Why, do you always do this to me. Why couldnt you just see it through me. How come, we act like this like we just dont care at all. Do you expect me to believe i was the only one to fall. I can feel i can feel you near me, even when your far away, i can feel i can feel you baby,why. Its not suposed to hurt this way i need you i need you more and more each day."
Avril Lavigne.
I am so tired
and bored
this is going to be like the most boring popst yet.
So yesterday when i went shopping i got C's b-day present.
Its pretty?
Its a shirt and its like pink and has flowers or something on it.
But its not one of those grandma pink flower shirts.
Its like sex me up pink flower shirt.
I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD.
Like he just sucks.
I really just hate living with him,
dont get me wrong i love him.
It might not seem like it,
but i do, and everyone makes mistakes.
He just does to many,
to close together.
And then i was thinking, if i go to high school with Andreas next year, this is going to cause a lot of shit, but its going to be funny. Like i know all his friends, and his friend and i are all like bff's but not really, but we chill, we chill. So i'm going to like hang around with these kids just to make him mad.
Ros told me that in the summer i have to hold like a "Party" for her to meet all the hot gr 11's!
Yeah, that would amuse me greatly.
I know like 17 kids in gr 9 (going for next year) like a trillion of the gr 10 (for next year) all the gr 11 like honestly ALL the gr.11's (they will be in gr.11 next year) and then i only know like 3 gr 12's.
Im going for Drama and for singing.
But no one else from my schol is going for singing.
So im a gonn be screweedddd.
But it'll be fine.
But like everyone in my school put like DRAMA! and visual arts, well i dont know about C.
I honestly cant hang out with her next year, i eally really really really really really really really really really really really really really dont DONT DO NOT want to hang out with her next year.
There are like 4 people i do not want to hang out with next year...
A,J,I and C. But like yeah.
J does not stand for Justin. BTW!
I am so tired right now. I should really be doing homework,
or cleaning.
Well earlier i cleaned out my dresser/closet, wait, did i already say this in my last post? i dunno,.
But yeah i only have 20 shirts left and 3 pairs of pants.
Hehh...
Well i best get to workin..
Avril Lavigne.
I am so tired
and bored
this is going to be like the most boring popst yet.
So yesterday when i went shopping i got C's b-day present.
Its pretty?
Its a shirt and its like pink and has flowers or something on it.
But its not one of those grandma pink flower shirts.
Its like sex me up pink flower shirt.
I HATE LIVING WITH MY DAD.
Like he just sucks.
I really just hate living with him,
dont get me wrong i love him.
It might not seem like it,
but i do, and everyone makes mistakes.
He just does to many,
to close together.
And then i was thinking, if i go to high school with Andreas next year, this is going to cause a lot of shit, but its going to be funny. Like i know all his friends, and his friend and i are all like bff's but not really, but we chill, we chill. So i'm going to like hang around with these kids just to make him mad.
Ros told me that in the summer i have to hold like a "Party" for her to meet all the hot gr 11's!
Yeah, that would amuse me greatly.
I know like 17 kids in gr 9 (going for next year) like a trillion of the gr 10 (for next year) all the gr 11 like honestly ALL the gr.11's (they will be in gr.11 next year) and then i only know like 3 gr 12's.
Im going for Drama and for singing.
But no one else from my schol is going for singing.
So im a gonn be screweedddd.
But it'll be fine.
But like everyone in my school put like DRAMA! and visual arts, well i dont know about C.
I honestly cant hang out with her next year, i eally really really really really really really really really really really really really really dont DONT DO NOT want to hang out with her next year.
There are like 4 people i do not want to hang out with next year...
A,J,I and C. But like yeah.
J does not stand for Justin. BTW!
I am so tired right now. I should really be doing homework,
or cleaning.
Well earlier i cleaned out my dresser/closet, wait, did i already say this in my last post? i dunno,.
But yeah i only have 20 shirts left and 3 pairs of pants.
Hehh...
Well i best get to workin..
hmm..
Umm...
okay, so i still have this guy on msn.
and i stay online and dont block him, because i still have hope that he will start a convo with me.
i know im pathetic.
when i was hanging out with that girl Bonnie
i was looking at her phone,
and who's number do i come across other than him.
so, now i know his number..
its actually kind of odd,
Benja called him. and was like, wait hold on a sec i have to go masterbate.
i love benja,
but saying that to none other than JP.
i hate him for that.
But thats ok. i am hooking him up with Ros.
They would make such a cute couple :) ♥
But yeah, i dont know,
should i jsut like delete mr. platnar as a friend on msn?
because i know that he wont open a convo with me.
and when i do with him,
he doesnt say anything.
So really,
im just stupid.
i am stupid for going to the party,
for meeting him,
for liking him,
for ever thinking anything about him.
seriously,
there are probably like 1000 other girls my age in T.O right now saying
this exact thing...
no one knows how this feels.
I mean everyone has there case.
but mine is just stupid,
which is why no one knows how it feels.
I just like hate this feeling,
its so annoying,
and it just wont go away.
Well,
High school with him next year,
oh god, and Andreas.
okay, so i still have this guy on msn.
and i stay online and dont block him, because i still have hope that he will start a convo with me.
i know im pathetic.
when i was hanging out with that girl Bonnie
i was looking at her phone,
and who's number do i come across other than him.
so, now i know his number..
its actually kind of odd,
Benja called him. and was like, wait hold on a sec i have to go masterbate.
i love benja,
but saying that to none other than JP.
i hate him for that.
But thats ok. i am hooking him up with Ros.
They would make such a cute couple :) ♥
But yeah, i dont know,
should i jsut like delete mr. platnar as a friend on msn?
because i know that he wont open a convo with me.
and when i do with him,
he doesnt say anything.
So really,
im just stupid.
i am stupid for going to the party,
for meeting him,
for liking him,
for ever thinking anything about him.
seriously,
there are probably like 1000 other girls my age in T.O right now saying
this exact thing...
no one knows how this feels.
I mean everyone has there case.
but mine is just stupid,
which is why no one knows how it feels.
I just like hate this feeling,
its so annoying,
and it just wont go away.
Well,
High school with him next year,
oh god, and Andreas.
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