if i had a time machinee...

soo... um i feel like
i
am
so
...
BLAH.
everyone is so happy, and im like so sad. i hate my life so so soo much. like ten times more than anyother person. like. i dont want to be a drama queen or a b!tch but, it just seems to come out that way. i wish i was back in elementary school. or just go back in time and accept the Jarvis letter instead of the Rosedale letter.
this is annoying me so much, i dont know how i will deal with seeing all the faces of the people i hate next year, some i dont hate, but some i really do. if i went to jarvis, i wouldnt know anyone, and i would have a fresh start, the only option i have now is to just, not talk to any of the people i used to know, and just be a different person, become the person i was, not the person i am. who i am hates who i have become, no one would have wanted me this way, especially my mom, i guess the only reason i wanted to go to rosedale is because everyone else was. and, that both my brothers went there, i dont know, and next year especially will be crap, because Andreas is there, and he will probably fail, so he has to stay back a year, so either way (he might not fail, but he will probably take a 5th year) i have three years left with him. and thats is basically all of my high school years, because unless my mind completley changes, on what i want to do in my future i will take a 5th year,
and i dont know i dont mean to bitch. its just, really annoying. like
rawr. so, i dont know, and then if i change my mind later on in grade 9 and i discover that i really do want to hang out with the people i knew, they wont want to hang out with me.even Ros has already moved on. we were going to go in on the first day of school and rate every single guy. now, yesterday, she was doing that with Charlotte. i hate it!
i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life.
rawr..
this is a really crap feeling. but anyway.
the only person who i think actually still reads this is Mitch. so mitch, you win 5,000 dollars.
and you also get the privalage of reading me whinning,
was that a bad sentace? i think so. oh well. i am nervesss.
poo.
well anywayi have to go take a showwaa.
tata.